The Foolish Misadventures and Mistakes of one Scotty Fennell

 Currently sitting in a place I don't want to be. I honestly can not wait till I have my own spot to call home again. Freedom is what your own place it. While sitting here on what it now Thanksgiving morning, my thoughts wondered to thinking about my Mom. She wasn't perfect, but she was my Mom. I don't think I could ever forgive the things my sister said about our mother while she lay dying in Hospice. Is that wrong of me sure. I have a lot of unresolved anger towards Lisa. Mom only wanted for me and her to get along. Sadly that was never an option. I know I sure as hell tried. Mom was someone who enjoyed life in her own way. She enjoyed being at a good party. I am not like my Mother. I enjoy staying home and doing my hobbies. I need to figure out where I keep going wrong with my life. What am I doing wrong. 

 Currently living on someone else's couch. A person I thought was a friend, but I am starting to think other wise. I wonder what is Gods plan for me. Am I that loser everyone expected me to be? Since I have had my stroke all I have done is piss everyone else around me off. People are happy to point out my faults. More like excited. I am no longer comfortable where I am in this moment. I also have the IRS coming aftter me. I currently Have little money left and no income. To say I am not scared would be a lie. The Bible says to trust in the Lord and have no fear, but while I do trust in Jesus Christ, I am still scared, because I feel abandoned. I am not at all a good person. It seems like nothing I do is socially acceptable to anyone. Heck I keep my headphones on most of the time I go out. Today I went to lunch with Aaron. Spoke Political, he is a conservative, but he was shocked by what I believe and said. I am in a vulnerable place. I wish I could get revenge on everyone who has d...

 I guess people especially those around me get great pleasure in tearing me down or having some great power over me. I figure I do it to myself by holding myself in a holier than though mental state, There are plenty of things I do and Ideas I have that does not fit well with people. I am easy to hate and pick on. My Grandfather would say that the only true friends in this life you will have is the dead Presidents. They will open doors for you and get you what you want in this world. They will be your most trusted allies in this world. I hate to say it he is right. I hate people having power over me. I need to find and new place to live soon. Staying with Hippie isn't really adding up to being the fulfilling idea I once thought it would be. I need my own place to be myself. Trying to find a new job seems to be a failing endeavor for myself. I suck at doing interviews. I have limited money and I am worried. I place my trust in Gods plan, but I can not help but worry even though the ...