More thoughts from the abyss.

Teddy Roosevelt one said to be action. Over the past 25 years I have allowed events to damage me forcing me to live in fear. Allowing my self to descend into a state of decay and apathy. Be action. Yet I haven't been. Thinking myself as a person who some intellectual merit yet I keep holding on to things allowing it to hold me back. Another thing is I hate having to walk on egg shells for anyone. Sadly I am in a position that I have to. It's bullshit. I feel as if the Lord Christ has abandoned me for I am not worthy of any holy consideration. I am the ultimate Black Sheep. The outcast. I can only assume that is my own doing to be treated as such. The actions of others I view as corrupt seem to benefit certain people well. All I ever feel is an unending loneliness. 

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